Crisis reveals the heart. It reveals what is going on inside, our deepest battles, our darkest struggles… It also reveals our foundation and our greatest strengths.

Several years ago, while going through a personal crisis, and several years of continued healing since then, have shown me a lot about myself. It is only because of a foundation that was laid in Christ that I am where I am today. But let me tell you, that foundation was rocked. When foundations rock, things which are loose get knocked off of the wall and fall onto the floor, allowing you to realize where your false strengths were placed, and where your true strength lies. I’ve had to lay aside many false idols, assumptions, attachments, ways of thinking, and damaging views of myself to move from where I was to where I am. And I still have a long way to go.

And now, I am experiencing many of these same things due to the COVID-19 crisis. It has caused more insecurities, false identities, and unconfronted fears that I’ve carried around for years, to surface within my heart. And now that they are there, I have to face them head-on, share these these things with those closest to me, bring them to Christ, and let Him, His Word, and His Spirit do a work on these dark things and in me.

So, in this time of quarantine and the lack of one on one socialization it brings, I have realized just how much I depend on and feed off of the affirmation of others. When you are not around others, your hunger for that affirmation starts growling. When you’re around others, and it is being fed to you all of the time, you don’t realize how much you depend on it. But not having that constant interaction in your life shows you how much you do.

Being loved, accepted, affirmed, validated, and resonated with by others is an important part of being human. But if the main source of those things is not in Christ, you will ultimately find yourself lacking and not living the abundant life promised in Christ to our greatest potential.

So I am choosing, for the rest of our time in quarantine (and hopefully the rest of my life), to search for new ways to draw my biggest source of affirmation from Christ, Who created me, loves me, died for me, and saved me.

I am asking God to search me, to know my heart, to try me and know my thoughts, and to see if there be in grievous way in me! I am asking Him to lead me, now and in the future in the everlasting way- a way that leads to finding all I truly need in Him and the things He gives!